Among psychiatric inpatients medical self-sabotaging behaviour such as the creation of illusionary or bona fide medical symptoms has been shown to be associated with symptoms of some personality disorders. One theory is that these actions are an attempt to illicit a caring response that was missing during the patient's formative years.

But what about the milder everyday examples like when we are clearly number one choice for a job or promotion and we say something we know will jeopardise this? Or when we finally see the behaviour we want from our partner and we do something that we know will elicit a return to the behaviour we didn't want?

In many cases it appears as though we are both scared of failure and scared of success.

If we are scared of failure, we sabotage the situation because we are experienced in and even habituated toward managing a negative outcome we know well.

Fear of success is however different and interesting. Insecurity could be playing a part in that we fear being incapable of managing our success, but surely there is also an absence of self-love. Do I deserve to be successful? The answer is obviously, “Yes you bloody well do!” but sometimes this is illusive or even unimaginable.

Luckily there is a quick solution that will enable you to work on the longer-term issues of finding comfort in the misery-you-know and denying yourself self-love.

Regular readers will already have guessed it.

Stay in the present moment!

Where are you right now? Are you reading this? Or is your mind already wandering?

Sit for at least fifteen minutes at least once every weekday.

And generally, as you go about your day, pay attention to this life. Your life. In every single moment. Be. Exist. Breath. Love. Live.

Good Luck!