We've all been there. During childhood and even in adulthood, we physically feel the anger expressed by our parents. It's inevitable and totally automatic. But how do we break this cycle?

Turning a perceived negative into a positive, let's see if we can use this ‘neural Wi-Fi’ as a self-diagnostic tool. Do my kids express unprovoked anger more often than normal? In psychology, an accepted method of determining what is ‘normal’ is when more than one other person volunteers something you might be thinking.

Lockdown has had the effect on parents of making them more attentive to anyone but themselves; so, let's underline that it's not the child's fault and direct all our compassion and all our awareness into some important ‘me’ time.

The most effective work occurs when you roll out the welcome mat for the anger so you can see it as a source for the answers.

So…

…the next time you feel yourself becoming angry, close your eyes, and breath.

Allow yourself to feel the anger in three specific ways one after the other, not necessarily in the following order:

• Enunciate, either in your head or out loud, the reason for the anger (the event that appeared initially to kick it off).
• Similarly enunciate the emotion.
• And finally, enunciate the physical sensation.

This method breaks the stress reaction cycle so you can explore - like a compassionate surgeon - the reason(s) for the anger itself.

You may already have your suspicions, and whether they are confirmed or something else comes up, taking the final step of talking to someone close to you or even someone professional will give you all you need to root out the cause and move on.